derek

i like him because he does not say unnecessary things yet he can keep a telephone conversation going

millions of little dirtinesses

Yesterday I found that the sand was still there, at the beach, right where it belongs. I kidnapped some grains into my living room where they felt like little dirtinesses out of place under my feet. Then technology and my body grumbled and stuff did not get done once again. The sun was unhelpful as always, and my thoughts .. oh my thoughts.

On my left there was a couple of weeks. On my right someone I would never reach, because he walked away from me before I could give life to imagination. When I looked at him he seemed puzzled, moving his body into my line of sight to make sure that it was him I was looking at. As if it would make a difference. I already owned that place, but how could he know? How could he know that he had just become a prop in my play, and that he was under my direction? So I turned around and looked at the couple of weeks instead.

I walked in late on my own show. Everyone seemed to know what to do. Should I stay or should I go? I decide. If I leave right now, nothing would happen. If I wait there might. But I rather look at the sun and shiver. Then he gets up, preliminates. Wears a jumper, plugs music or a telephone call into his ears. Shakes little dirtinesses of his towel, his bag. He makes his way to the concrete, does not look back to the salt and the sand, apparently careless.

When I turn around again, he is gone. With him he took the clouds so the sun can see me again. All there is left are millions of dirtinesses in my play. And a new prop has walked into the scene. I urgently need to reconsider my directing qualities. But alternatively, I left my shoes on warm concrete and stood in the rain.

radiance

is it my new hair-do? did i stop wearing make-up? have i changed my clothes, or maybe my weight? what is it that is so different about me now? the sources of this change i cannot precisely tell, but apparently my radiance has revived. i look fresher, more natural, they said. it's undeniably true. i feel it, too.

two people used the word radiance to describe my new glow. i really love to be in one sentence with the word radiance. i will hold onto it forever.

moët & chandon grand vintage rosé 2002

ik was net een lege lijst en hij kleurde me in en everybody else disappeared

Thursday 86 2002


When I made up my mind I changed position and faced him.
There was music and I smiled at nothing in particular;
from my reflection in the window, he could tell.
I wore my old sandals, something purple and no lipstick, perfect 86.


The girl then came and went, she was a prop in our play.
We needed her input, but she was of no importance
to any of our feelings, and so – we let her out.


Is there anywhere you have to be, he asked. I said no and paused the music.
No one waiting for you at all? I denied again which left him slightly puzzled.
We didn’t have glasses but we couldn’t be bothered.
So at the bench we sat, we drank and we confessed.


And when all was finished, we still continued.
And when he held my hand, I cherished those steps.
And I was like an empty frame,
And he brought the colours,
And everybody else disappeared.

st kilda pier

The case you are making is accurate, zei Nicholas de Griek toen ik constateerde dat hij al beet had voor de lijn was uitgeworpen.

Meneer Nick komt naar de pier om frisse lucht te vangen. It regenerates.